Many people have been trying to get rid of Planned Parenthood for a long time by taking all of its funds away, but they haven’t been able to make it happen. Probably because their arguments for doing so were bad. But this argument which I am about to put forth is not bad. It is tremendous. Some might even say it’s unbelievable. But you’d better believe I have an argument and am not just stalling until I come up with something, because otherwise you would be a hater and you don’t want to be a hater, right?
Now some of you may have heard about this already, but the problem with Planned Parenthood is they do something called abortion, which people are saying is literally the same thing as taking a baby from a cradle and sticking the Constitution in its mouth until it dies. Same thing. No difference. And if you ask me, that’s a bigly yuge problem and they need to be stopped.
Other people, people who probably get their information from fake news, say abortion services are only a small part of what Planned Parenthood does, and Planned Parenthood can’t use federal funds for abortion. They also say Planned Parenthood does a lot of great things that you can’t really get anywhere else. Is this true? Who knows? But even if it is true, and I’m not saying it is, they do abortions, and right now I’m against abortions bigly. So all the other stuff doesn’t matter. If you have a problem with something a person or organization does, whether it’s a sports team or musician or politician or whatever Planned Parenthood is, it is morally wrong to support them. No exceptions. None. So Planned Parenthood must be fired.
Others, who are wrong, say abortion isn’t the same thing as killing a baby because fetuses and embryos aren’t fully human. Oh yeah? Maybe people who say abortions are okay aren’t fully human until they stop being okay with baby-killing. Is it okay to kill those so-called people?
That’s it. Argument is over. No one cares about your fake news points regarding a woman’s rights to her own body, or that we kill and eat plenty of animals which can feel pain, or whatever else sad people say to question this flawless argument. Anyone who says Planned Parenthood should be funded is not only listening to fake news, but they’re fake people. Unlike three-day-old embryos, who are real people and their pro-life votes should be counted in all elections.