The things people are saying about Andrew Puzder not being Labor Secretary nominee anymore because he hit women or hired illegals are flat out wrong. Fake news! He quit the nomination process because he realized the importance of being fully committed to making yuge burgers.
The burgers that Andy’s company makes are bigly yuge, let me tell you. You wouldn’t believe how yuge they are. Tremendous. One of them is 1340 calories, and has 76 grams of protein to give you bigly muscles. Those burgers have so much protein that they should be called health food, so much healthier than the rabbit food Mrs. Obama tried to get real Americans to eat, when everyone knows real Americans should be eating bigly big portions, portions big enough for bears.
Bears, let me tell you, are yuge animals. And they are American animals too. Everyone knows they are most closely associated with the United States of America, and not some other country involved in totally untrue rumors about Michael Flynn, who by the way stepped down because he’s such a nice guy he doesn’t want to embarrass his accusers by showing everyone how wrong they are for making those totally false accusations.
But back to Andy Puzder, he is a real American hero for sacrificing the opportunity to be a famous Labor Secretary for the sake of making yuge burgers for such a low price that after the 65% discount, even his employees can afford to buy them. It is important to focus on his heroism, and not all the other things fake news like the New York Times insists on talking about.