Bigly Yuge Burger
The things people are saying about Andrew Puzder not being Labor Secretary nominee anymore because he hit women or hired illegals are flat out wrong. Fake news! He quit the nomination process because he realized the importance of being fully committed to making yuge burgers.
The burgers that Andy’s company makes are bigly yuge, let me tell you. You wouldn’t believe how yuge they are. Tremendous. One of them is 1340 calories, and has 76 grams of protein to give you bigly muscles. Those burgers have so much protein that they should be called health food, so much healthier than the rabbit food Mrs. Obama tried to get real Americans to eat, when everyone knows real Americans should be eating bigly big portions, portions big enough for bears.
Many people have been trying to get rid of Planned Parenthood for a long time by taking all of its funds away, but they haven’t been able to make it happen. Probably because their arguments for doing so were bad. But this argument which I am about to put forth is not bad. It is tremendous. Some might even say it’s unbelievable. But you’d better believe I have an argument and am not just stalling until I come up with something, because otherwise you would be a hater and you don’t want to be a hater, right?
Now some of you may have heard about this already, but the problem with Planned Parenthood is they do something called abortion, which people are saying is literally the same thing as taking a baby from a cradle and sticking the Constitution in its mouth until it dies. Same thing. No difference. And if you ask me, that’s a bigly yuge problem and they need to be stopped.